


My very own Steve

by boleyn13



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Illusions, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki isn't, M/M, Tony Being Tony, Tony has a crush, Tony-centric, Unresolved Sexual Tension, and Steve is oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 17:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3945472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you trying to tell us that your brother is capable of cloning other people, not just himself? The shit he pulled in Germany? Does this mean that Loki could have an army of Thors walking around if he wanted to? Or Hawkeyes? Captains America...s?”<br/>____</p><p>“Okay, now you’re really starting to creep me out.” </p><p>“Me? You’re the one who wants me to create an illusion with your friend's face to fornicate with.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	My very own Steve

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody!  
> This is just a little oneshot about an idea that wouldn't leave me alone. It's not supposed to be too serious, but rather funny.  
> What would happen if Tony found out about Loki's ability to create an illusion of pretty much anybody and had an idea how to use that? In a very selfish, immoral and hopefully sexy way. So what has Steve do to with all that? 
> 
> I hope you have fun with it :)

“Thor, for fuck’s sake, I swear this is the very last time! If you Asgardian shitheads can’t keep your own fucking stuff from being stolen you should be looking for it all by yourself! Why is it always us?! We’re not the intergalactic police department!”

“Tony…” As always Steve screwed up his face, uncomfortable when Tony used swear words. So he was uncomfortable a lot.

“Actually Stark has a point here.”

Holy shit, was Robin Hood really agreeing with him? “Thanks, Legolas! At least one sensible person here.”

Clint rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Don’t make me regret it this quickly. But yeah, I’m getting a little tired off chasing after Loki because he got his hands on another magic object that your great Asgardian fortress couldn’t protect…”

It was about time someone else but Tony complained about that. After all it was the fifth time in two months that Thor showed up and said something like ‘Sorry guys, my brother stole another magical… thingy and the safety of the universe depends on us getting it back’. Did nobody else wonder why Loki always, every single fucking time, came to Earth with the things he had stolen? The universe was fucking big and Loki could teleport himself so why the fuck should he hide all this stuff on Earth where the Avengers would seek him out? Tony would tell him why, because he wanted to piss them off and he was doing a pretty good job.

Two weeks ago it had been this stupid ring that... did some shit... Tony hadn't been listening when Thor had explained it. Loki had hidden it in a volcano. A fucking volcano! Tony’s suit had been totally broken, Thor’s cap had caught fire, one of Natasha’s eyebrows had been burned off, most of Clint’s arrows had melted and the Hulk with burn injuries was just a pain in the ass.

During all that Loki had laughed his ass off. Sure, there had been a fight, he had given them hell, but at the end they had won, gotten the stupid ring and Loki… had vanished like he did every time. The worst thing about it was that he usually kept the stuff he had stolen. Yeah, Thor forced them to run after him all the fucking time and then they never got what they were after. Tony was sure this was all just one big prank. Loki was trolling them and since he was Asgardian and had no idea how the comment section on YouTube worked he had to do it old school. 

“What did he take this time?” Steve was calm and collected, the only one not completely annoyed yet. The only time he had lost his cool had been in the stupid volcano when Loki had used some weird fireball and burned half of his uniform. During that moment Tony had really been tempted to give Loki a high-five. Then again he had been too busy staring at Steve’s bare upper body. Why would somebody with that body wear a uniform anyway?

Wait a second, did Thor say something? Right, object of great value… blablabla… potentially dangerous in Loki’s hands… blablabla… has to be retrieved… blablabla… no idea where he could be… blablabla…

“Great! That means he could be anywhere… maybe that dwarf realm you were talking about. How about you go there and look for it?” Tony poured himself a glass of bourbon while Thor was looking rather confused and embarrassed. Steve only scowled at him. Damn, that shouldn’t be this sexy. 

“You know what…” Clint again, hopefully siding with Tony, spoke up. He was looking as annoyed as Tony. “I’m wondering how he does it. It’s been weeks and all he seems to be doing is… like Tony puts it so nicely – stealing your shit. Don’t you have some security? And didn’t you upgrade it after the second time he stole some magical item?”

“Very good question, Katniss. You know, maybe you should invite me some time to Asgard so I can install you an alarm system.”

Another scowl from Steve and he crossed his arms in front of his chest. The typical ‘Shut up and let Thor talk’ pose. Another thing that shouldn’t be such a turn on. Damn it, Tony really needed this drink. 

In the meantime Thor finally explained to them how Loki did it. Not that Tony cared, but he could pretend to be listening and instead marvel at the memory of Steve in his burned uniform. Tony was so going to use that as his tonight’s fantasy. Like the day before. This was slowly becoming his new favourite. Why was Steve glaring at him? Could he read his thoughts? No, then Tony would already be dead or Steve would have a total freak out. Oh right, Steve wanted him to pay attention.

“… different tactics. This time he created several clones of himself, wearing the skins of different guards. This way he could sneak in and before he could figure out which one was actually Loki, he was…”

“Wait a second!”

Tony almost choked on his drink and quickly put it down. He needed both of his hands for big dramatic gestures. “Wearing the skin… Are you trying to tell us that your brother is capable of cloning other people, not just himself? The shit he pulled in Germany? Does this mean that Loki could have an army of Thors walking around if he wanted to? Or Hawkeyes? Captains America...s?”

Thor nodded slowly. “Well, maybe not an army, but yes. My brother is able to create an illusion of any person he wants. He also can turn himself into any person. He is a very gifted shape shifter...”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, Loki likes to shift shapes, back to this illusion thing…”

“Tony, I don’t think that Loki’s abilities are that important right now. We should rather develop a plan how to help Thor to get back the stolen object.” Once again Steve looked at him reproachfully, pissed off because Tony wasn’t too eager to play detective. After what Tony had just found out they should be happy if he was ever going to put the suit back on. He was going to be terribly busy. 

“Sorry, pals, gotta go. Important stuff to do. Science. Physics. Suits. Something, something.”

***

Tony was sipping on his third bourbon and he was starting to feel a little buzz. That was a good thing though, because being sober would probably lead to him questioning his own plan. It was stupid, reckless, morally wrong and could easily get him killed. Clint would call it a typical Tony Stark. 

Right now Tony was more concerned if his plan could really work or if he could even get the chance to try. It all depended on a thief who liked to wear a horned helmet. Yeah, Tony was already starting to see the problems with his own plan. More bourbon, definitely more bourbon. 

So, how was he going to spell this out to his guest anyway? Directly? Make up a story? Nah, Tony was getting plastered, not a good time to invent a story. 

“Well, here I am. In the middle of the night and interrupting the display of your alcoholism. No need to send for me to show me that.” 

Almost jumping out of his skin Tony turned around to find that fucker of a Nordic God leaning against the closed door. A smug smile on his face, acting as if he owned the place. Right, calm down, Tony, you send out a signal – he showed up, you wanted that. Now play it cool and don't let him notice that you already think it was a bad idea. “Wow, took some damn time to show up. Busy? Or are you just losing your touch?”

Loki liked to play these little games, so he just smirked like the psychopath he was. “You wouldn’t want to know what I did before coming here, Stark. It would poison your dreams for years to come.”

“Nice. I bet you were strangling puppies or some shit like that…”

This time Loki didn’t answer, just started to walk around the room, taking in his surroundings. Tony must have had a few bourbons too many to plan this thing out in his bedroom. Loki, God of fucking things up, was in his bedroom. This asshole could easily cast an evil spell on Tony’s bed so it would eat him up alive during his sleep. Great, more nightmare material. 

“Since you don’t possess the cunning to plan out a trap and you must have some reason to call me. If you’re just wasting my time, I’ll cut your head off. Way more effective than throwing you out the window.”

Yes, this plan had been stupid to begin with, but Loki was already here, so Tony would just go with it. “Come on, Reindeer Games, you’re intrigued, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

Now Loki lifted an eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t think you’re safe because Thor and your tiny mortal friends are down the hall. I could rip your heart out and be gone before even one of them enters this room.”

“Sir?” 

God bless Jarvis and his strong will to keep Tony alive. Quite a hard task. “Don’t worry, Jarvis. That’s just Loki’s idea of small talk. No need to alert anyone.” If everything worked out like Tony wanted it would be very embarrassing to be interrupted. Most of all by Steve. 

“My patience is running out…” Loki cleared his throat, one of his eyebrows was going up and he looked at him expectantly. Okay, here goes nothing. “You want a drink?”

Tony raised his glass of bourbon, but Loki only pulled his face. “Midgardian beverage is disgusting.”

A ray of pure sunshine this guy. “Fine, straight to the point them. Thor told a few interesting things about you, Rudolph. The things you can do. Kind of impressive.”

“Of course my abilities are impressive. All you can compare it to is Thor’s brute force and the cheap pieces of metal you clad yourself with.”

Breathe, Tony. Loki just wanted to piss him off, but he was smarter than that. “Yeah, right. Forgot what an annoying show off you are. Anyway, let’s talk business. I heard you can do some nice illusions.”

“You heard so?”

Tony flinched and turned abruptly around to face the person who had hissed that into his ear. Loki with a big grin on his face. Okay, this could be Loki just teleporting, he did that a lot. So… no, Tony turned his head to back to cupboard, because Loki had been standing next to him and… he was still there. With the same stupid grin on his face. Just to be sure Tony did look from Loki 1 to Loki 2 a couple of times and there were two Lokis in his room.

“What is it, Stark?” Loki Number 1.

“It’s not something you haven’t seen before.” Loki Number 2.

“Right, I’ve seen it, but I haven’t touched it.” Tony plucked up all his courage and ignored all his survival instincts and just grabbed the Loki right in front of him. Somehow he expected that his hands would go right through him. They didn’t. This was a solid human body. Or not so human. It was for sure solid. Two strong shoulders under his hands and a pissed off expression on his face that could only be Loki’s. “So… are you the clone?”

The response was a hard shove that knocked him on his ass to the floor. “Ouch! Fuck! So are you?”

Loki Number 2 vanished in a ray of green light and perhaps this was supposed to be an answer. Loki Number 1 for sure was still an annoying little bitch. “What do you want a clone for, Stark?” And still pretty damn smart.

Sighing Tony got back up to his feet and pretended that the room wasn’t spinning. Damn bourbon. Tasted like heaven, but had some nasty side effects. Tony could deal with dulled senses or with him being even more reckless than usual. A spinning room wasn’t very useful though. Hopefully Loki wouldn’t have some fucked up ideas. More fucked up than usual. 

“Straight to the point, Rudolph. I wanted to talk business anyway. So… uhm… you remember that shiny ring you hid in a fucking volcano? Well, I hope you do remember that, otherwise I don’t want to know what you do in your spare time. I guess you remember the stupid fucking thing. You still want it? You can have it. I give it to you, I just want a little favour.” A highly immoral and weird favour, but he was talking to a guy who regularly wore a horned helmet. Loki was no stranger to weird.

The fact that Tony offered a deal and a magical artefact didn’t evoke any emotional reaction. Loki just snarled and repeated what he had already said. “What do you want a clone for, Stark?”

An inconvenient truth – there was no way to put this nice and classy. “Can you make a clone of… anybody?”

Suddenly Loki looked enormously pleased and Tony knew that this was a fucking bad sign. “Anybody? Any random person like… maybe this one?” Another flash of soft green light and Loki’s sharp features vanished. The black hair turned lighter, his whole figure bulkier and Tony’s mouth ran dry when Steve stood in front of him. As gorgeous and hot as always. Which meant hot as fucking hell. Okay, Tony, calm the fuck down. That’s still Loki under… Steve’s handsome face, Steve’s great body and even Steve’s ridiculous costume. God, what a nice trick.

“Uhm… yeah…”

Steve grinned and it was so obviously Loki’s grin. Mischievous and dark, looking very much out of place. It didn’t match with Steve’s kind and honest nature. The tone of his voice was also wrong. “Now, Mr. Stark… proposing your enemy a deal so he’ll create you illusions to satisfy your impure urges. How bad of you.”

Okay, this was not cool. This was Tony’s weird fantasy. He was a middle aged man with an alcohol problem and the crush of a teenager, he was allowed to have weird and inappropriate fantasies. Least of all Loki should talk him into feeling guilty. Most probably he would do that anyway tomorrow, all on his own. Till then… why not enjoying being a pervert? First he had to get rid of Loki though. 

“You don’t get to tell me about bad. I’m the good guy here… and… Jesus Christ! Change back into yourself! I can’t think when you’re all… looking like this.” Tony took a step back, he’d definitely feel better if there was a little more distance between him and Steve… Loki! Loki! 

The smirk got even bigger and Loki cocked his head. His beautiful, blonde, Steve looking like head. “I do think you rather enjoy me looking like this. Don’t I look pride, heroic, selfless, like an American idol?”

“Yeah… uhm… stop it.”

Thank God, Loki did just that and Steve’s features fell off him like a mask. All that was left was a psychotic alien… with a very useful set of skills and a shit eating grin. Oh, Tony was so screwed and a place in hell was reserved for him. 

“So… do you prefer it this way?” Loki made a vague gesture with this hand and within a flash of green light a new Steve appeared next to him. 

Yeah, right. Tony definitely preferred it this way. The Steve next to Loki smiled softly all too familiar and Tony felt the goose bumps on his arms. Right now it didn’t make much of a difference that he wasn’t real. The real Steve would never even enter Tony’s bedroom. Well, maybe to tell him to finally get his ass out off the bed, because he was already late for… saving the world. Whatever. 

This Steve was here and smiled… and Loki was still right next to him.

Loki who made another lazy gesture and Steve vanished into thin air. Tony opened his mouth to protest, but Loki’s chuckle shut him up. “I was right about you, Tony Stark. You are a reckless madman. There is not even a single spark of shame in your body. Lusting after your team mate. The pure Captain who would never even think of getting engaged with any person, least of all with someone as filthy as you. Or a male. To make things even better you promise the most wanted criminal in this world a powerful magical object, just so he would provide you an illusion you can fulfil your nasty fantasies with. How revolting…”

Tony was tempted to call Bruce, so the Hulk would wipe the grin off Loki’s face, but then Tony would probably have to explain why Loki was in room and rock of ages wouldn’t help him to make it look less suspicious. So no calling Bruce, Tony had already been called a madman, so why not run with it? “Revolting my ass. You have your own issues, only look at your stupid helmet or your relationship to your dad.”

Bad move, Loki started to scowl and Tony should know better than to piss this guy off. Especially without his suit on. “Okay, okay, what do you care if I’m revolting or totally fucked up? You want your stupid ring to tear down dimensions, turn stones into gold, let you talk with animals or whatever, I didn’t listen when Thor explained what it was about. We make a deal – you can have it. All I want is one of your magic tricks for a few… hours. I’ll make up a nice story how you took the ring, I’ll make you look cool, don’t worry. So? What do you say, Reindeer Games? You want the ring? One ring to rule them all?”

Loki’s eyebrows went up a tiny little bit, but he decided to smile anyway. “How would I know that this is not some weird trap for me you came up with?”

“Oh come on, you don’t believe that yourself. Do you really think that Thor wouldn’t be already in here if he knew you’re here? Do I have the face of a man who would lead you into a trap?”

“No, you have the face of madman who jeopardizes his own safety and the one of his friends because of his own carnal cravings.”

“See. Works out for both of us. We have a deal?” Tony was starting to lose his patience and his courage. Worst of all, he was also sobering up. Couldn’t Loki finally come up with a decision? “Why would you ask me? You have some abilities yourself. Build yourself a robot. That would be a permanent solution to your problem.”

Wow, now this conversation was really getting uncomfortable. “To make me feel like a total pervert? Or to have Natasha find it when Fury tells her once again to snoop around? Or Steve? Thank you, I don’t want to be thrown out off the window again. By someone else but you.”

At least Loki was having fun here, chuckling like a schoolgirl. “Marvellous. I agree to your terms, Stark. I will give you this illusion for one night only. At dawn he'll be gone.” Once again that lazy gesture, like the most normal thing in the world and there was Steve again. Smiling, pretty… if Tony could call another guy pretty, then it was definitely Steve. With those baby blue eyes and the blond hair. Not like Thor’s, that was just wrong. Steve was pretty, gorgeous and smiling at him. 

“Since I’m already here… anything else? Any special… adaptations?”

That sounded so wrong and judging by the smile on Loki’s face Tony didn’t want to know what the Norse God was talking about. “Okay, now you’re really starting to creep me out.” 

“Me? You’re the one who wants me to create an illusion with your friends face to fornicate with.”

Well, if you put it like that… “Jarvis, did I already tell you to delete all of tonight’s security footage?”

“Yes, you did, sir.”

“Okay, make sure that this part gets deleted multiple times and then I want you to find somebody who can scrub my brain with bleach, because I don’t want to remember him saying that. Ever.” Tony shuddered lightly and the Steve next to Loki frowned a little bit. Almost worried. Okay, that was very much Steve. Cute. Hot. Definitely hot.

Loki rolled his eyes and suddenly he looked like he wanted to get out off here. Tony was completely fine with that as long as Steve was going to stay here. “Stark. The ring. Hand it over.”

There was nothing Tony would love to do more, but this was working out way too smoothly. Actually Tony would have never thought that this would happen. Why wasn’t Loki laughing at him and telling him to go and fuck himself? “So… how do I know that Steve doesn’t turn into a giant snake and eats me alive the second you leave?”

“Because since I got here I’ve had more than enough opportunities to kill you. The ring is in the pocket of your trousers. I could easily take it from your dead body. Your little request is vulgar, but I’ve had worse and I’m somewhat entertained by it. Can I get over with this now? I know you don’t believe that, but I actually do have other things to do than hanging around your tower.”

Calling him and coming up with this bad idea was madness, but madness was Tony’s thing and backing out now would be a real coward move. The whole thing was going to blow up in his face anyway, so why not having some fun before that happens. “Okay, we do have a gentlemen’s agreement here. No things that are going to eat me and… Steve won’t act totally weird…?”

“Not weirder than usual.” Loki shrugged and cleared his throat. “The ring and please let me teleport a few dimensions away before you start doing anything.”

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, rock of ages. Until dawn you said?”

"Yes, this is not negociable. It would take me a lot more effort to create an illusion that would last longer. In exchange you would have to offer me more than just the ring."

Well, then Tony had to take what he could get. He would make that night unforgetable. Tony reached into his pocket and felt the cold metal of the ring under his fingers. Here goes nothing. He pulled it out and threw it directly at Loki who caught it leisurely. “I thank you, Tony Stark. It was a pleasure doing business with you.”

To make things even a little bit weirder Loki took a bow and vanished into green light. So, finally alone with Steve… ‘s clone. Well, this got awkward pretty fast. “Uhm… hi…”

The smile on Steve’s face only seemed to become even brighter. “Hey…”

So far so good. “I’m Tony, by the way.”

Steve laughed softly. “I know. You’re acting strange, Tony. Stranger than usual.”

“Well, I’m new to this whole clone thing and I don’t even know if you know that you’re a clone and… You wanna have a drink? Can a clone get drunk?”

“Not really.”

“Shame, but you’ll get one nonetheless. Maybe you can’t get drunk, but I’m too sober for this…” Tony wanted to reach for the bottle he had placed on the nightstand, but Steve took a step towards him. “I meant… I don’t really want a drink.”

Yes, this definitely was a clone. No way Steve knew how to smile like that and talk with such a flirty tone in his voice. Tony was not complaining though, this was just another one of his various fantasies coming to life. So this was cocky, flirty Steve – Tony could live with that. 

“No drink then. Anything else you wanna… do?”

Tony? Hopefully

Steve tilted his head and Tony swore that he could see a glimpse of a tongue licking over these sweet lips. “I want to do what you want to do.”

Several fantasies combined into one. Flirty Steve together with willing to do anything you want Steve. Tony was so going to hell because of this. Probably right now since Loki had agreed to this. If Steve didn’t turn into a monster, maybe his lips were poisoned or he would bite Tony’s dick off. Not a very sexy that thought. But Tony was still turned on. No further proof needed, he definitely had issues. 

To hell with it. Steve would knock his teeth out and avoid him until they were dead if Tony even dared to kiss him. This Steve right here wouldn’t do that, quite the opposite. Tony had made a deal with the devil, so there was no way he would chicken out and let that opportunity pass. 

“What do you want to do, Tony? With me.” Barely a whisper, but so smooth and there was no doubt about what he wanted Tony to do with him. Tony had always known that he would die someday because of his own stupidity.

When Tony pushed him up against the wall the illusion felt as real under his fingers as Loki’s clone had felt. Only way better. Steve’s lips didn’t taste like venom, but even if they were poisoned, Tony wouldn’t give shit. This was perfect, surpassing everything Tony had imagined with his very creative imagination. He was kissing Steve. Okay, not really Steve, but he looked exactly like Steve, smelled like him and maybe, hopefully even tasted like him. But the one thing that almost made Tony’s knees buckle was the fact that Steve kissed him back. 

Oh, God, yes!

Finally…

Tony could feel Steve touching him, he could feel the warmth of his hands even through his T-Shirt. Even better than he had imagined it, because it felt so real. He could let go, because for tonight this was Steve and Tony would at least do half of the 10000 things he had always wanted to do to him. Right now Tony would start with ripping the clothes of his body and lick every piece of glorious, white skin that he could reach. His fingers slid over the garment of Steve’s grey T-shirt and it was perfectly soft. Yes, he could definitely take his clothes off. Without hesitation Tony shoved his hand under the T-shirt, let it ghost over the skin underneath. Hard muscles and Tony couldn’t wait to trail his lips over them. 

It was Steve’s neck though where he started. Covering his throat with kisses, sucking on the skin there and Tony simply relished the sound that escaped Steve’s lips. Something between a moan and a gasp. A shiver ran down Tony’s spine and last bit of his patience went out of the window. His hand almost ripped Steve’s T-shirt apart when he pulled it over his head. Seconds later it fell to the floor and was completely forgotten. Tony attacked Steve’s lips again and it was all teeth and passion. God, he wanted to have him, to take him or Steve taking him. Everything at once, but first he’d like to suck his dick. That was the thing he wanted to do first. 

Steve’s fingers were tangled in his hair, his lips moving perfectly against Tony’s while he was already busy opening these stupid and unnecessary jeans. Opening the button, pulling the zipper down and…

The sound of the alarm seemed to tear his eardrums up and cut right into his skin. Like a bucket of ice water that someone just emptied right above his head. This is so couldn’t be true. “Oh, come on! Fuck off! I’m not home!”

Steve next to him was breathing heavily and Tony wanted to do nothing else but continuing what he had just started. Pretty much impossible with this horrible sound that ruined the mood completely. Also this sound was always, every single time accompanied by…

“Oh shit!” 

As fast as he could Tony grabbed Steve’s arm and shoved him to the other end of the room, right into the corner behind the door. Not a second too early, because said door was already being pushed open. “Tony! Hurry up!”

There was nothing Tony could do. Besides standing there and maybe blinking. Steve was shouting at him to hurry up, Steve in full Captain America mode. Behind the door, hidden from Steve’s view, was another Steve. Topless, flushed… wearing opened jeans. Tony was so screwed and not in the good way. 

“Uhm… do you really need me for that? Whatever’s happening right now? You know I’m coming down with a really bad headache and…”

Captain America Steve was having none of that, he only started to glare at Tony, probably wanting to kick some sense into him. “Tony, we don’t have time for that! Get into your suit!”

“But…”

“Loki just turned the Empire State Building into a giant ice sculpture and he isn’t done yet!” 

That stupid, lying son of a bitch!

“I’m coming, just give me a second.” 

Steve frowned, but then probably didn’t want to lose any more time and left to run down the corridor. Fuck! Okay, it was just Loki. The guy whose plans did never work out. They would beat him in a millisecond. A short trip, kicking Loki’s ass, then right back home where hot celebration sex with Steve was waiting. Good plan. 

“Don’t move! Don’t forget where we just left off, I’ll be back in a second. And no matter what you do, don’t leave this room! And don’t put your shirt back on.”

***

Steve hadn’t been joking. The Empire State Building had been turned into one, big, giant ice block. Kind of impressive actually. Everybody just stood there for a few seconds to stare at it, which was definitely pissing Tony off.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I still have stuff to do. So could we please hurry up, find Reindeer Games take him out and go back home?”

Natasha frowned at him and Tony wanted to strangle her. No, he would do that to Loki? Where was that fucking jerk anyway?

Tony’s question was quickly answered, because another skyscraper suddenly turned into ice. Loki sat at the top of the building right next to it, a happy smile on his face. Even then Tony couldn’t start kicking his ass, because Thor did his usually ‘Brother, let me save you’ speech. Which was completely stupid. Except the little detail about how Loki shouldn’t be able to freeze such huge buildings… not without the help of… a certain ring…

Yep, Tony was definitely screwed. 

“Brother, please, just give up. This town doesn’t deserve the terror you bestow upon it.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Thor. This time it’s not about the puny mortals. I just intend to keep you and your friends up all night.”

There could be no misunderstanding, this grin was directed at Tony and he was so going to knock Loki’s teeth out.

***

Tony didn’t knock Loki’s teeth out. Nobody made it to even lay a finger on him. He had played them. That fucking Reindeer fetishist had turned eight, fucking eight buildings into ice, half of Central Park and whenever somebody got even close to him, he turned out to be a stupid illusion and another Loki popped up to freeze… something else. 

This stupid cat and mouse game had lasted hours until Loki had finally disappeared. Still with that knowing grin on his face that he had just ruined somebody’s night of blissful sex. Definitely the last time that Tony would make a deal with the God of lies. In retrospective this sounded even more stupid. 

While the others were all sprawled out in the living room, still discussing what just had happened, Tony fled straight into his room. Before anyone could ask him about the stupid ring. 

“Please, be still there. Please, be still there…”

Tony kicked the door open and of course the room was empty. “Fuck!” This jerk had really succeeded in ruining the fulfilling of his every fantasy. His blood was boiling with rage while Tony kicked the door behind him shut. This was…

“Tony?”

Spinning around Tony had to blink a few times to believe his eyes. Right there in the corner was Steve. The... clone. Still not wearing his shirt. Had he really been standing there all this fucking time? Nah, Tony didn’t care, because he was still there!

“Is everything alright? You told me not to…”

Tony hushed him with a deep and greedy kiss, pulling him flush against his body. Loki was going to be so pissed when Tony was going to tell him that he hadn’t been keeping them long enough. 

Obviously Steve hadn’t been enjoying his time alone too much, because responded the kiss with just as much passion. Okay, no time to lose. Tony pushed him towards the bed, onto it and crawled over him. That was him and Steve. On a bed and he was going to…

Steve cut his thoughts short by pulling him down and kissing him hungrily. Right, less thinking and more of that. Tony reached out, putting his hands on Steve’s cheeks and… only grabbed thin air.

Not enough, Tony crashed down onto the bed, engulfed in a cloud of green smoke. Crying out in frustration Tony buried his face in a pillow and punched it a few times. That was it. No more Mr. Nice guy. The next time Tony saw Loki, he was dead. Not even Thor and his stupid hammer would be able to save that son of a bitch.


End file.
